Controversies, disagreements, and conflicts are inevitable in any workplace. They can occur due to differences in perspectives, goals, or approaches among team members, or external factors like a shift in market trends or misunderstandings with clients.
Whether you’re addressing a conflict within your team or announcing a controversial company policy change, this article will guide you on how to facilitate difficult meetings with clarity, empathy, and professionalism.
1. Prepare yourself mentally and emotionally
When delivering bad news, you want to prepare yourself not only mentally but also emotionally. Mental preparation involves surface-level logistics: gathering relevant information, reviewing company policies, and thinking about what you want to say.
How did the situation happen, and who are the people involved? What impact would the controversy have on the company? What consequences might arise? These are the kinds of questions you need to address during your mental preparation. Fully equip yourself with the how, what, why, when, and where of the situation so you can navigate the conversation more smoothly.
Emotional preparation is a completely different ball game. No matter how much you prepare, emotions can still catch you off guard—whether from you or from the people you’re talking to. People might feel angry, disappointed, or confused. They might be so frustrated that they won’t even bother to listen to your explanation. The conversation might get heated, resulting in emotional arguments. Be prepared to address these emotions. Think of ways to de-escalate the situation and ensure your message is heard.
2. Be empathetic, but don’t sugarcoat
Empathy is more than just acknowledging someone’s feelings. It’s about understanding and connecting with their emotions, putting yourself in their shoes, and showing genuine compassion. You’ll be surprised at the positive impact a shift in tone and demeanor can have. Phrases like, “I understand how frustrating this news can be,” or “It’s perfectly reasonable to feel disappointed,” can go a long way in diffusing tension and fostering a more open dialogue.
That said, you don’t want to sugarcoat or downplay the severity of the issue. Be upfront about the potential consequences associated with the situation. You don’t want anything to get lost in translation, either. Be as clear and transparent as possible. Avoid jargon or euphemisms that might minimize the impact of the message. If the controversy may lead to people losing their jobs, for instance, say it as it is.
3. Drop the formalities
Formal language rarely has a place in difficult conversations. In such situations, it’s always best to speak in a way that feels natural and comfortable—similar to how you would speak with a friend. Formal language can create a barrier between you and the listener. It might sound like you’re hiding behind a mask of professionalism, making the message come across as impersonal and inauthentic.
Natural language makes the message easier to understand. It can also sound less accusatory. When writing and delivering a difficult conversation, use everyday words like “need” instead of “require,” or “help” instead of “assistance.” Say sorry if you need to.
For example, instead of saying: “Due to the unforeseen circumstances this controversy has caused, your previously requested vacation time has been denied.”
Use natural language like this: “I know you were looking forward to that vacation, but because of the situation we’re in, we won’t be able to approve your time off request as of now. I’m really sorry.”
4. Offer solutions without making false promises
Once you’ve delivered your message, shift your focus toward potential solutions. Think about what you can offer to help ease your people’s worries, and how you can collaborate to find a way forward. This could involve offering support, resources, or assistance to navigate the challenges ahead. If appropriate, you could even compensate them for the time or money lost following the controversy.
While offering solutions, don’t let your emotions speak for you. Be realistic about what you can offer and avoid making promises you can’t keep. If one of your employees or team members offers a solution beyond your capacity, explain why it’s not feasible.
Acknowledge the value of their suggestion and either offer an alternative solution or explore the possibility of implementing the original suggestion in the future. You want to show your team members that you’re actively considering ways to improve the situation.
5. Actively listen
A big part of facilitating difficult meetings is listening to the perspectives and feedback of your employees or team members. Controversies, in particular, always have two sides to the story. If you only listen to one side of the story, you might get blindsided when the other half unexpectedly surfaces later. Such situations can result in a domino effect that derails progress, erodes trust, and makes the situation worse than it already is.
While your team members explain the situation, actively listen. Instead of saying, “I understand,” say “help me understand,” to encourage team members to elaborate and provide additional details. This demonstrates a genuine desire to learn their perspective and shows you’re not just waiting for your turn to speak.
6. End on a positive note
If possible, end the meeting on a positive note. Briefly recap the main points discussed in the meeting and outline the agreed-upon next steps. Reiterate that you understand their concerns and thank them for bringing them to your attention. Finalize it with optimism for the future. For example, “Though we’re in a tough situation, I’m confident that by working together, we can find a solution that works for everyone.”
If appropriate, you can also suggest a follow-up meeting to discuss progress or address any lingering concerns. This shows your commitment to resolving the issue and keeping the controversy, whatever it may be, under control.
Facilitating difficult meetings: wrapping up
As a leader, facilitating difficult meetings is part of the job description. By following the tips outlined in this article, you can approach these conversations with confidence and address everyone’s concerns to the best of your abilities. Remember, even the toughest conversations can be a catalyst for positive change.